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How Will I Know If My Partner Has Had Her Orgasm?

By Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.

Male Ejaculatory Control, Growing Older
HSAB Affiliation: Contributing Expert.

 

Women react differently to their orgasms, and so there are no guaranteed indicators that your partner has made it...other than those that you must learn from her. Everything listed below is qualified and must be clarified and verified with each new partner.

You will most likely feel her body begin to tense as she approaches the jumping off place. As she gets close she will probably stop talking, she is likely to either hold her breath or pant, and she will probably begin to bear down. If you have a finger in her vagina when the orgasm is very close, you might feel the inner two thirds of her vagina suddenly balloon out (called tenting) or tighten down (called framing). Your partner will be totally unaware of these changes deep within her vagina. There might be an increase in her lubrication.

If you have a finger or two inside her vagina when she begins to orgasm, you might feel very minor contractions around the opening (these will be major internal earthquakes for her). As she orgasms she might make sounds, might thrust, or might just remain motionless and quiet.

It used to be thought that firm nipples (nipple erections) were a sure sign of a woman’s orgasm but this is not true. It certainly might be a sign of her arousal, her anxiety, or her reaction to the cold!

Some women will expel a clear watery fluid (female ejaculate) out through their urethral opening with their orgasmic contractions, but this is not typical. This female ejaculation comes from where a woman urinates, but it is not urine. It does not come from her vagina and it is not slippery. Since female ejaculation is uncommon, it is not a reliable sign that a woman has reached orgasm, and even women who do ejaculate might not do it every time.

Some women are able to have more than one orgasm during any encounter. For some, they must take a brief break between orgasms, although remaining aroused, but other women can go practically non-stop from orgasm to orgasm. While some believe a woman can learn to be multi-orgasmic, most who are never remember having learned it...some just seem to have the ability.

In summary...the best way to know if your partner has had her orgasm is to establish open and honest communication about your sexual expectations, desires, and the experience the two of you share.

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